Ten years ago, I quit a corporate job to take a giant leap of faith and venture out on my own. I was 23 years old and had no idea at the time what self-employment meant or what the next decade had in store for me. Earlier that summer, I moved out of a city apartment that I loved but worked too hard and too often to enjoy, and back to the Chicago suburbs with my aunt and her two kids. The decision was meant to provide security during a period with many unknown variables and it was supposed to be temporary…two years maximum, we agreed.

Four years later, I was ready to move back to the city. I had already been living part-time with a friend and had every intention of finding a new place when her lease was set to end. Instead, I suddenly found myself a caretaker to my grandfather (Papa), who was diagnosed with terminal cancer. He was…is…one of the most important people in my life and since I built a reliable business as a self-employed individual, I had the flexibility to accompany him to chemo and doctor appointments. It was a role I welcomed – it allowed me the privilege of time in those final months no one else had.

However welcome, that time came at a cost. I was barely surviving. There were elements of my career that desperately needed to change, it felt like my family was barely holding it together, and simply put, I lost myself. I lost my identity, my voice. My voice was the one thing I always felt confident in, the part of me that wrote every day to publish new content. It had simply disappeared. What was left didn't feel like me anymore, but I kept going because it felt like I'd failed if I didn't.

18 months following his diagnosis, we lost my Papa to his hard-fought battle. It wasn’t unexpected but it was much more sudden than anyone had anticipated. In fact, I had been on my first trip to New York City to see Moulin Rouge: The Musical for its second night on Broadway. Something I had been looking forward to for months. The trip, memorable as it could be, was cut short 48 hours later when I returned home hours after he passed away. Until that moment, I had been living life normally, keeping up this energy to ensure our final days and memories together were as normal as they could be. I didn’t want him to feel like I was mourning before he was gone and I didn’t want our experiences to be weighed down with grief that would come later regardless. We would have as much fun and as many wonderful memories together as possible.

The moment we said goodbye, I was hit with grief stronger than anything I’d ever experienced, a grief so strong that I still struggle with it today. But with that grief also came relief. When you fight a difficult battle against a disease with someone you love, there’s a soul-deep exhaustion that sets in once that journey ends. A relief to no longer have to be strong and carry on – it feels like a bodily exhale unlike any other, even with the guilt that follows later.

But what then?

At the end of 2019, I told my family I was moving back to the city. It was long overdue; my aunt knew it was coming, and I needed to stand independently again. Three months later, I signed a lease one week before the world shut down with the COVID-19 pandemic. And Chicago was hit…hard. Working with mostly hospitality businesses, I went from the busiest I'd ever been since going self-employed to nearly out of work within days, and it didn't change for a while. This inevitable loss of income freed up my time and led me down a rather tumultuous journey of introspection and self-discovery.

For the first time in my life, I was allowed space to grieve. Anyone in a similar position understands the can of worms this opens on an emotional, mental, and even spiritual level. As a natural introvert, the isolation of the pandemic permitted me to hide away from the world – from myself. This necessary – however unhealthy – “incubation period” provided space for healing that was required to release a monumental amount of grief and negativity from years of avoidance and compartmentalization of the parts of life that were uncomfortable. I realized that so much of what was holding me back was from life events completely out of my control, and I needed to make peace with it if I was ever going to move forward and start living once more.

The person I had been before we received my Papa’s diagnosis no longer existed. I was a shell of a person, uninspired and unmotivated to participate in life. I didn’t know how to begin again. I was caught in an impossible state of limbo with no direction to get out. I eventually hit a mental rock bottom, emotional rock bottom, career rock bottom, financial…you name it. Nothing was working anymore, my recently diagnosed anxiety was at an all-time high, and it wasn’t looking good.

And I decided it stops now…

Does that mean things turned around overnight? Absolutely not. This is real life, not a fairy tale. However, I made it my job to stop being the victim of my own story. I started to reevaluate what kind of opportunities I was chasing, and to the surprise of no one, they weren't the right choices for me. I began to think about how I wanted my days to look, and the type of work that inspired and exhilarated me. One by one, the pieces started to fall into place. I was challenged in ways I hadn't experienced in a long time. I was looking forward to working again. I stepped back into the world, reignited friendships and relationships, went out dancing, and started to travel. By releasing the role of victim, I started to meet the new version of me…

…and this is the first chapter of her story.

I was coming back to life but it was so subtle, I didn’t even realize it was happening at first. It took several conversations with my closest friends to point out the changes they saw in me before I started to see them in myself. At this point, I hadn’t written anything that wasn’t client-related in years, but I began to feel the urge to write again. It started with quick sessions where a few paragraphs or pages would pour out, little bouts of inspiration that I indulged with free writing. I could feel my voice coming back and discovered she had a lot to say.

For a while, Lattes sat here without purpose or direction, but the thought of deleting it all together was heartbreaking. I spent seven wonderful years sharing stories and experiences and had built a brand I was proud of. It felt like a waste to erase it. Towards the end of 2023, a friend asked me to participate in a business accelerator. At the time, I was working on one of the biggest projects of my career and simply told her, “You’re nuts.” There was literally no time and on top of that, I had no ideas for a business. Needless to say, she disagreed – without explanation, of course – and I found myself in her program.

She’ll enjoy me putting this on record but…she was right! Our initial brainstorming session pulled the mother of all ideas out of me, and I erupted in hysterical laughter because 1) remember when I said I had no time, and 2) where the f**k did this come from? While this accelerator reignited an entrepreneurial spirit in me that had been dormant for an excessive amount of time, the timing just wasn’t right so I carried on with this vision marinating in the back of my mind. There wasn’t a day that went by that I didn't think about it. What would it take? How long do I need to reach certain milestones? Does it make sense if I incorporated this? Inspiration was coming in from every direction. It was like…now that I had opened myself to the possibility of what could be, I couldn’t stop the ideas from forming.

Mid-spring, I finally came up for air after a wild few months of exciting client work and had a moment to sit down and put a business plan together. I mapped out phase one to take the first step to bring this vision to life…

…and then procrastination hit hard.

At the beginning of summer, I went on a much-needed and long-overdue getaway to a beautiful town on the Michigan coast. The change of scenery and opportunity to slow down hit like a brick wall. I was running in a million directions, most of which were welcome, but was still frozen when it came to the exact path I should have been sprinting at full force. It was a hard pill to swallow at a time when I felt like I should be happy and inspired, which brings us to today.

I sit here writing this, and the story is unfinished. In fact, it's just beginning. So let me introduce you to Lattes, Life, & Luggage: The Next Chapter…

I’d always been inspired by feature articles in glossy magazines, sharing a glimpse into places I never heard of. Still, it’s no secret that the editorial world has taken a massive hit in the last few decades. I’ve spent my entire career working closely with media and have infinite respect for journalists, the written word, and the integrity of authentic storytelling. I’ve considered everything I love as a reader and what I wish I could change with how the industry has evolved, taking inspiration from some of my favorite blogs and publications to develop a digital platform that bridges the intersection of travel, culture, and everyday life.

I never had a vision for the original “blog” that provided a platform for this new dream to take place, and more importantly, I lost inspiration for it because the girl I was in 2018 is no longer the woman I’ve grown into today. Bringing people together at a table with great food and conversation is something I love doing, and I wanted to take that on a digital journey. I firmly believe that there would be more kindness and acceptance in the world if we could hear each other’s stories, and I want to give people an opportunity to do just that. Open us up to asking questions without judgment or expectation. In a world with a news cycle that thrives on negativity and shock factor, I want to create a corner of the internet to inspire dreaming and welcome safe conversation. I want words and stories to be accessible and to encourage community.

While I’ll be the main voice here for a minute as things ramp up, the future of Lattes, Life, & Luggage will see new voices from around the world. This next chapter is bigger than anything I ever thought I could achieve but the thing about coming back to life is that you emerge so much brighter than you've shined before. I can’t wait to share what’s to come and for you to see this platform grow. If you're an old reader or know me personally, thank you for sticking out this long ride. If you're just discovering Lattes, Life, & Luggage, I hope this platform can be a source of inspiration for you.

Here's to the first page of this new story. Lattes, Life, & Luggage: The Next Chapter officially begins today!